I just could not think of birthday present for your special day that is great enough to show how much I love you. I won't be surprised if you find it hard to see it as I did not arrange a big party for you or even wrap the present as pretty as possible. My toughness is another issue apart from my daily absence. I understand that it is too much for me to even hope that you see how I love and cherish you, my Little Girl.
Every birthday of yours is a reminder for me of the greatest miracle happened to my life. You and the day when you were born. Every little moments on that day was so precious and the most precious one was when the nurse put you on my arms while I was laying on the bed after the surgery. You were so tiny and beautiful. Hairy but cute. For a second I forgot the pain in my throat and my tummy. My life was changed starting on that day. Nothing was the same ever since.
Sweetheart, you were a such lovely and adorable little girl. Your were a happy kid. Laughing and singing a lot. You loved to play, made your grandmother puppeteer. Monyet and Ayam Kecil fought a lot, as you laughed. You love Ayam Kecil so dearly that you took it with you when you were cycling around the neighborhood. You were devastated when you loss Ayam Kecil.
I was glad that you were not a difficult child. You did not ask for candy or anything when I took you for shopping. I don't remember you had a tantrum, ever. You made friends easily. You did not hesitate to initiate the interaction with other little children, even with adults.
What made you different from other little children was your braveness. You were so fearless. You liked to watched scary movies, even I put the TV off you went to your grandma's room just to watch the movies. You came closer to barking dog of our neighbor, Tante Katty. You even stayed silent when you saw some 'penampakan' hehehe....
Kezia, my little monyet,
I am sorry that I am not a perfect mother for you. Not even close to good. Yet, I want you to understand that you are my strength and inspiration. I find consolation in you. I guess I need you more than you of me. Surely you are the biggest gift I have ever granted.
And now that you turn into a woman, these are my wishes for you:
- and the most important thing: happiness